Ok, August is ending and I’m prepping for my next show  september 23rd. I had four days of low-down and lack of energy/focus, but it went away today. You can only be so long in a deep black hole before it wears you out.

I bought a foam roller yesterday to massage my hamstring. it works great. Just got back from a very boring cardio workout at the gym. I was not even awake. Bought a ,magazine to read but nothing good to read in it which usually is the case.

Heading to my favourite store later: 99cents! I just love it: they carry tilapia filets and frozen cauliflower for half the price of regular stores.

The past weekend in Dallas was a nice experience. great hotel, friendly people, well organized event and overall a blast. I placed 7th out of 26, my best results so far.

Now I’m back in LA, have a lot of work to do so no time to slow down and relax yet. I returned to the gym on the day I got back for a leg workout and now I’m prepping for new shows. I have not made up my mind about one particular show, there are some factors to consider first.

It didn’t take long for the infamous post contest blues to hit me. It’s when you feel like nothing is that fun anymore and every task is a burden. I really hope this state of mind will be far gone within a couple of days.

back home from texas. I will write about it later.

Ok, now I’m down to the last days before the Europa show.

Feeling great one second, feeling awkward the other sec. Just like it’s supposed to feel.

I’m packing food, seeing to everything being in place. Leaving extremely early tomorrow morning. Almost no meaning to go to bed.

For all you who like figure and want to compete, stay tuned for my new ebook soon to be available at http://www.paulinefitness.com

It will cover my contest preps, mistakes, what not to do, tanning, nails, posing practice (how do you do it fun?), cardio, how to lean down in time, what to eat, what not to eat, carb load, training, recovery, mental prep etc. Everything you need to know if you like my philosophy!

keep your fingers crossed for me this weekend…

I tried a new hair brush today. It got stuck! I couldn’t handle the highly dangerous tool…:-) Very tempting to just cut off the hair, but let’s me a little more cautious.

No training today but I will head to the gym to rub my hamstring against a lonely barbell (trigger points and massage technique that looks strange but works wonders). I’m already looking forward to sunday….leg workout here I come. Now I just hope my body will be with me this week and not let me down. You never know…. I do my best and I’ve done what I should. Now let’s see the results…

Yesterday morning I did my last sprint cardio workout before the europs how. Since I knew I wasn’t going to do it for a week or so I made pretty sure my heart remembers what I expect it to do when I get back…:-) I ran and ran and oh was that exhausting or not! I must have looked so funny running in the sand which makes you go kind of slow and at the same time looking like I was getting a heart attack! You know you had a perfect workout when you crawl back to home with a red face and gasping for air. You gotta love that!

I also had my traditional “try it all in the gym buffet-workout”. Last strength training session before a show I always for once play around. totally. To me it feels a bit “forbidden” to enter the gym with no set plan, no real focus, no ambitious goals to do another personal best on each and every set.

I walked around with a undecisive look, pressed some triceps pull-downs, did some weird leg extensions, kicked some glutes, some crunches but stopped because they were too boring. I had almost no resistance and it hit me “this is how average folks exercise”…. GOOD there are personal trainers out there!

I tried some machines too, the so called most high tech ones. They wore me out and hurt my joints. So, once again I knew why you never see me struggling with those child tools.:-)

In the end I went back to the barbells and dumbbells to do some more. Yup, will stick with those until I cannot do so when I’m 100 years old with a wheel chair and only one arm to go.

Today I was 2 lbs heavier than yesterday. Try not to stress about it. It looked great in the posing room however. I’m looking forward to seeing how my body will look on contest day. Do I need to mention I’m taking all kinds of notes for the future….

today I’m getting a bit groomed. Needed! hair to be dark again, thank lord. I never took the highlights to my heart. Too american in a wrong way.:-)

Ok, ‘nough rambling for now!

ok, now the so called ONE WEEK OUT panic hit me. It’s always the same thing: one week out I suddenly feel I do NOT want to walk onstage. It’s just a mind game and Im glad there is never a way out, because it’s just FEAR of disappointing myself.

Two more days of training and after that I will get to rest and recuperate. I want to sleep and just lie down on the floor and let my mind drift away.

I found a big fish on the beach today. Stranded. I just went by and kept going. I suddenly felt very bad for the fish and thought “what if someone did that to me…seing me there all helpless and crying so quietly that nobody cared to listen…” I went back to throw it back to the sea but it was gone when I eventually came back. Guess that fish knew what he was doing after all. He was just sun-bathing, prepping his tan a bit. Him too needs to look good for the lady fish because there is lots of fresh catchs of those

in the sea.

This sounds odd I know, but try this little treat…:-)

Put a bag of coleslaw cabbage in a big bowl. 35 minutes in the microwave on full effect. Let cool down. Sprinkle splenda and lots of cinnamon and stir. Add a scoop of 100% egg protein with vanilla flavour. Enjoy!:-)

Another good treat is carrots with cocoa powder. Boil the carrots and mash them. add splenda and 1 tsp of cocoa. Tastes decently enough.

I walked on the beach this morning. All the way to malibu. There was so many mussels shells, BIG ones and I picked up a few just in case there was a pearl in any of them. of course there wasn’t…:-)

Take home message #1: never stop looking for good luck: it will come if you keep on looking.

Take home message #2 build-upon the #1: do not count on getting good luck. You plan for it to hit you and it will if you work hard enough.

Remember: no one succeeded in life by being passive lying on a couch all day long.

Now I’m down to the last two weeks of prep for the Europa and as always my body is rebelling. It’s always the same way: without any increase/decrease in calories, not more or less cardio and nothing else that should matter and yet my body just feels like gaining more and more weight. Three days ago 1 lb up, yesterday 1 more lb up and today 2 lbs more. It’s very frustrating and even though I know this is the way my body prepares itself for getting onstage it’s the last thing you want to deal with so close up to a show.

I try to stay focused and be positive. It’s hard though.

In order to stay sane and not panic about it I try my hardest to focus on how lucky I am and what is important in life:

To have someone to love and be loved by

To be healthy and not be in severe pain

To have somewhere to sleep safe at nights

To be able to nourish your body with healthy food

To have friends you can trust

To be a good person to other people

To have faith and not let deep and dark worries rule your mind

To believe there’s a meaning to everything

I dreamed last night I was walking with my mother in Northern Sweden. it was very cold and we were singing. In the sky the stars were red and shaped like big hearts….It was peaceful….