three days down, four more to go. I’m having my week off. recuperation time. I’ve been bad with them for way too long. I only take three top four days off before shows and that’s it. I haven’t had a week off for more than a year or two I believe. It’s hard for me to take time off.

anyway, I’m convinced the positive things will benefit me when I truly schedule strategic layoffs. I will come back on monday stronger and more muscular. Maybe not the first week, but the second and then after that!

Now I’m soon leaving for the Arnold classic fitness weekend in Ohio.

the other day I was at Ralphs. I bougth candy for my husband. At this ralph’s they have boxes with candy so you can pick and choose yourself, just like in Sweden (but SWEDISH candy is way better).

Anyhow, an old tiny Lady with gucci glasses and dolce & gabbana attire stopped by and asked me “you eat candy?” I said no, it’s for my husband (and I felt like one of those who don’t stand up for their little habits like sneaking in candy in the house). She said “I thought so, because you are so fit and lean”. I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt so she couldn’t see my physique. “Are you from New York?” she asked. I said no from SWEDEN. Oh, from Ohio??? She replied. No Sweeeeeden, like in Europe. She finally got it.

Since I’m so sick of this anti sugar trend that tries to tell people sugar at all times is bad, I couldn’t resist to rebel. I said “Well, sugar isn’t bad for you, you just have to know when, why and how much”. She seemed very interested and replied with a curious “REALLY???”. I saw how her mind was spinning and suddenly she headed towards my legs and started to do the “custom search routine” on my legs and butt. I was like “Gee, if this was NOT an old LADY I would have punched the ***hole hard and strong and say “never ever do that again”.

“You’re not jiggly like I am, what’s your secret” she said with a smile. I hit a biceps and said “feel this!” and she exploded in a big WOW!!!

lol, this old lady told me she couldn’t get how all young women nowadays are all fat around their bellies. How do they have time to eat, she asked. I told her to go to her high fashion gym and work hard, not using 5 lbs dumbbells for 40 reps. She said she’d do it.

Oh what a joyful day! Woke up to a rainy Venice but that didn’t get me in a bad mood. No not at all. I was sore from yesterday’s leg workout but I was set on outperforming myself on the cardio machine. You know when you’re so positively anxious for not doing your utmost best performance you almost don’t want to start the session? Merely thinking about pushing all out and see your heart reate increase one beat at a time until you’re there in the uncomfortable zone? And the mind thinking “just one more minute, just stay there, keep pushing” but you slack off for a second and your heart is so strong its beats drops so quickly you just have to put in even more force and your quads say “hey stop” but your lungs are wide open taking in as much oxygen you want.

well, that was how it was this morning.  just love stepping off all sweaty and dead, stiff and tired  like an old lady and then have my BCAAs. white powder on my nose tip every day.

Just like there are pigs there are people who can eat like pigs without looking like ones. I’m not one of those lucky ones who can have cheat days and go beserk without having to pay my dues for it with harder dieting and more cardio. For years I felt this was so unfair: how come I had to work so hard, be so disciplined yet not have the pleasure of being able to eat crap once in awhile?

Then, about two years ago I finally accepted the fact: if I want to look a certain way this is the way of living I must choose. On an every day basis. And today I’m totally fine with it and don’t fight cravings or feelings of deprivation. Food for me is fuel and it’s joy, but lucky me I really like what I eat. I don’t see it as a strict diet, it’s just MY diet that is always this way.

Now don’t take me wrong, I love all sweets and pizza and ice cream etc, but it’s been so long I had them I have forgotten what they taste like. And then it’s like “do I really want to introduce them again so I can start missing them? No way!!!”

I love my eggs, my boiled spinach, my salty spices, my oatmeal, my fiber and my protein shakes. I enjoy every meal. Especially the sugars I take pre and post workout.:-)

My husband loves pizza. He trains hard and is very well-conditioned and athletic. He loves pizza and he can have it once a week and the fat melts off him anyway. Yes, I think it’s unfair, he can eat all he wants and yet have chiseled abs, but being jealous doesn’t help! I’m happy for him and having a more “normal” partner is great. You cannot be two fanatics in a relationship.

I know people who forbid some foods in their house when they’re going to lean out for shows or photo shoots. Isn’t that weird??/ How is not having something in your house going to stop you from eating? I mean, don’t we all live about a block from a supermarket??…:-)

Actually I enjoy having ice cream, chips and candy at home. I feel it helps my discipline. I know I can have it but I choose not to. Isn’t that a better way? I don’t feel deprived that way.

well, well, enough rambling.

Yesterday I got a letter from The department of Homeland Security:

I AM NOW APPROVED AND AM A PERMANENT RESIDENT of AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

A Process that’s taken us about 4 years of saving up money and two years of collecting documents, go to embassy, go take finger prints, go to the lawyer, go see a doctor for a medical exam, go to file hundreds of papers, ALL IS NOW over and I can stay7 her in America for ever!!!! (as long as I stay nice

yesterday I visited dr Ben in Brentwood for my weekly check up. I told him about my  breathing dilemma. He said it could be coming from the window! I said “what???” since I have the sea breeze coming in through my window facing the ocean. “Well, check your window net, I’m sure it’s clogged with dust!” dr Ben informed me. So I went home, took a look at the window and said “nah, doesn’t look bad to me”, but then I brought the dishwasher brush and started to brush the net and whoaho, the dust was just pooring in!!! How could this be?

So, it might be an allergic reaction. After all, this is the land of carpets and unfortunately my apartment has one. A blue-greyish one. Well, it was, it needs cleaning!

today I’ve been feeling off. Bad mood. for several reasons. I wish I could just be happy every day that I’m healthy and alive! Why do we get so spoiled. The other day I saw a lady lying on the ground sleeping with her luggage standing beside her. It was outside McDonalds. See, I told you, trans fat kills you! No, that is horrible, sorry. It really was a miserable site. Nobody helped her and neither did I driving by.

Workout tonight was very not me. I had a bad attitude, didn’t have the drive and was pissed off. I get angry when I have those days. It’s just stupid. I wish I could just switch it off. It’s a sin not to block out bad energy of the gym. It’s sacred time. It should be. Today I was almost letting my mind wander away.

Well, heck, we’re all bad bad sometimes.

Atleast I got my 12 eggs from snack pac at ralphs today. I have no idea what they do with those eggs but they just taste that good!!!!

Info…

http://www.aboutaspartame.com/professional/index.asp 

OK, I sound weird again when breathing. It was just six weeks ago last time! It’s this town that’s must be causing it! I was never sick n Sweden. But I still prefer being here of course! It just takes some more demands on your body!:-)

Last time when I got this symptoms I still went to the gym to do intense cardio. Well, that was not smart I know, but hey, I’m not a saint! This time though I went for a long powerwalk instead, so I’m doing a little better than last time. I’m just learning this whole “being more frequently sick” thing. It takes some time to get the hang of it!

My new product. Starting today! Hope for more strength!

AST SPORTS SCIENCE  

Even though it’s february there is spring in the air! I like the fact it gets bright out earlier now and soon it’s sunrise when I go to the gym instead of as it is as of now: when I go home.

Saturday’s workout turned out to be very productive but I must say I was not in the mood at all when I started warming up. You know that feeling “how on earth is this gonna happen” and there is a weird sense of  “have I done this before or why does it feel so awkward?”  It didn’t start very well, my precious deadlift area was occupied by no one less than Dani the weightlifter and a new protege. It was just for me to start somewhere else. I changed my regular deadlifts to sumo style ones which attacked my glutes a lot better and were more difficult to execute. So, now these are on my to-do list until I reach the same poundage there as the regular ones. This will strengthen the weak links I have right now.

Sunday: I slept and slept and slept, had smoked salmon and nuts, slept, chewed too many chewing gums and had a photo shoot at the beach.

Monday again and started off with an amazing cardio workout before work. I did the elliptical for 20 min and then the crosstrainer at 10 minutes. New personal best on the first one and same same on the latter one.

Shoulders tonight. and abs. I had some more simple sugars in my preworkout shake and reduced the carbs in my second meal post workout. that plan worked well. I was more focused and had more energy.